Stepping Out Afraid & Covered in Essential Oils

I’ve felt a burden on my heart to write for a long time. Like… a ridiculously long time… If I’m honest, it’s been years. It’s the reason I started a blog in the first place. And I blogged a few times, mostly to say that I did it, and because I felt like there were some things I needed to share, but in reality I found every excuse or semi- excuse to not write. I thought that maybe blogging and sharing was just something I made up and wanted to do and not something I was called to do. Big difference. So I mostly didn’t write, but the most interesting thing happened, instead of that burden or desire to write going away, it’s actually gotten stronger and most persistent. It went from a soft nudge to a blindingly obvious thing that I’m NOT doing. Now before you think I’m being super prideful & brag-y there’s something you should know. I don’t actually enjoy writing or journaling… It’s not something I do to sort through my thoughts and feelings, to help gain clarity or to see a situation in a different light. Hence me calling this a burden and not a joy or calling.

Anyways, I didn’t come on here to share a “poor me” post. I came on here to share something cool the Lord has been showing me. He’s the one that called me to this in the first place. Like I mentioned, I’ve felt this calling for a long, long time, but I’ve been avoiding it {relate to Jonah much?}. For the longest time I tried to figure out WHY I’ve been avoiding it and letting anything and everything else take priority over this. It’s not like I WANTED to walk in disobedience or that I thought this was too small a calling. So after lots of prayer, wise counsel, and being still enough to WAIT for an answer instead of just DOING something, I realized, actually, the Lord showed me that the reason I’ve been avoiding this is because writing and sharing my heart is NOT something that comes naturally to me. I’m not naturally gifted at this, AT ALL! So it that’s why I didn’t think that this was part of my calling. Shouldn’t my calling be at least a little bit more among the lines of things that I’m “better” at. The answer for me in this case was a very obvious NO! You see, my prayer for the past few years has been, “Lord may ALL that I do bring you glory”. Sounds very humble and such, and that truly was my heart, but the part that I was missing was that saying YES to something the Lord is very obviously calling me to, and that I’ve been very much avoiding because i’m not great or good at it, IS Him getting ALL the glory. Anything I may share that may sound insightful in any way is ALL Him and not all at me. So here I go, again, on this adventure with an expectant heart to see what He’s going to do with this space. If you’re reading this, would you please say a prayer for me? Thank you!


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